Vow Renewal Gifts

'Just what vows do you want to renew?'

Woman: 'I, Linda...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.' / Man:'And I, Shaun...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.'

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

For our 25th anniversary, I think we should renew our vow not to kill each other.

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"We'd like to update our vows with some bug fixes."

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

"As long as we've decided to renew our vows. I've come up with a 'Renew-nup'."

"I, Matthew, promise to go along to get along."

"As long as we're renewing our vows, I'd like to trade him in for a newer model."

"I wanted to renew our vows on a cruise, but Al wanted to recycle them right here."

"Things were great until we decided to renew our rows."

"Renew our vows! What. . . all of them?!"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

Gates of heaven

Wedding selfie stick

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

Old Love

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

"When we have fun, we really have fun."

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

Marriage counsellor with 'Better' and 'Worse' desk trays.

Ask Sadie. Sadie, how do you keep the romance alive in a senior relationship? Signed, Randy. *Actual reader question. I'd like to bring in my correspondent to handle this one. Oh, do I have to, Snookums? I don't know what to say to these people. I think I'm going to take a pass. DO IT OR NO NOOKIE FOR YOU UNTIL 2029. Communication and compromise.

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'