Renewing Marriage Vows Gifts

"My parents must have forgotten what they learned in school. I heard them talking about renewing their vowels."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

'Now that's Real TV!'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

Aging Problems

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

Wedding selfie stick

"You mounted the mirror upside down, Harold!"

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

Gates of heaven

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

"Honey! We're home!"

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

'Admit it, dear, you've been keeping sliced bread a secret all these years in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"