Renewing Marriage Vows Pillows

"My parents must have forgotten what they learned in school. I heard them talking about renewing their vowels."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'Now that's Real TV!'

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

Aging Problems

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

Wedding selfie stick

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"You mounted the mirror upside down, Harold!"

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

"Honey! We're home!"

Gates of heaven

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

"You secretly watch BBQ shows??! You pervert!!!"

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

'Admit it, dear, you've been keeping sliced bread a secret all these years in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

Old Love