Renewing Wedding Vows Pillows

'My parents are renewing their wedding vows. . . my mom just notices that my dad had penciled in an expiration date on the marriage license.'

"I am so relieved! Those secret family meetings were not about a possible divorce: they're renewing their wedding vows!"

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

Wedding selfie stick

Gates of heaven

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

'Oh, you nasty sluggard!'

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

Old Love

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

Wedding cake figurines has a husband playing a video game.

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

Woman: 'I, Linda...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.' / Man:'And I, Shaun...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.'

'And do you promise to offer free, unlimited tech support?'

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

"When we have fun, we really have fun."

"I can't wait to go home and replace all your sports channels with cooking channels."

For our 25th anniversary, I think we should renew our vow not to kill each other.

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"My parents must have forgotten what they learned in school. I heard them talking about renewing their vowels."

"I went ahead and got married without knowing the possible side effects."

"I'm just pricing this second honeymoon you've been on about. . . were you thinking of tagging along?"

Ask Sadie. Sadie, how do you keep the romance alive in a senior relationship? Signed, Randy. *Actual reader question. I'd like to bring in my correspondent to handle this one. Oh, do I have to, Snookums? I don't know what to say to these people. I think I'm going to take a pass. DO IT OR NO NOOKIE FOR YOU UNTIL 2029. Communication and compromise.

Marriage counsellor with 'Better' and 'Worse' desk trays.

"You don't have any silly thing about snakes, do you?"

'... And do you, Gavin, promise not to hog the T.V remote, for as long as you both shall live?'