Marriage Vow Renewal Pillows

"Just what vows do you want to renew?"

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

'Now that's Real TV!'

Aging Problems

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

Wedding selfie stick

"Honey! We're home!"

"You mounted the mirror upside down, Harold!"

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

'Admit it, dear, you've been keeping sliced bread a secret all these years in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"It's for my husband's birthday party. Do you have a piñata filled with beer?"