Marriage Vow Renewal Pillows

"Just what vows do you want to renew?"

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'Now that's Real TV!'

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

Aging Problems

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

"You mounted the mirror upside down, Harold!"

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"Honey! We're home!"

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

Wedding selfie stick

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

"You secretly watch BBQ shows??! You pervert!!!"

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

'Admit it, dear, you've been keeping sliced bread a secret all these years in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"Do you think we're a storybook romance transformed into a textbook case?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."