Vow Renewal Enthusiast Pillows

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

Marriage counsellor with 'Better' and 'Worse' desk trays.

"I, Matthew, promise to go along to get along."

"Renew our vows! What. . . all of them?!"

"...until death do you a favor."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

Wedding selfie stick

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

Old Love

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

Old year sits by 'Out' box, and new year sits by 'In' box in office.

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

Woman: 'I, Linda...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.' / Man:'And I, Shaun...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.'

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"I'm just pricing this second honeymoon you've been on about. . . were you thinking of tagging along?"

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"My parents must have forgotten what they learned in school. I heard them talking about renewing their vowels."

For our 25th anniversary, I think we should renew our vow not to kill each other.

Ask Sadie. Sadie, how do you keep the romance alive in a senior relationship? Signed, Randy. *Actual reader question. I'd like to bring in my correspondent to handle this one. Oh, do I have to, Snookums? I don't know what to say to these people. I think I'm going to take a pass. DO IT OR NO NOOKIE FOR YOU UNTIL 2029. Communication and compromise.

"When we have fun, we really have fun."