Vow Humor Gifts

'He does.'

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"...until death do you a favor."

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

Senseless clowning around

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"You folks ready to order?"

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

"Daddy says he got the promotion: We'll be able to afford to move to greener pastures!"

"Medical insurance? Are you kidding? No one will cover me for nine lives!"

Under Canvas

'To summarize: the visual joke brings on a very fast reaction, but the verbal joke is remembered longer.'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'Dear Oscar, such a dry sense of humour.'

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'What I wouldn't give for some good eczema medication!'

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

"The fax machine ate my homework."

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

Man escaping from his scolding wife by inhaling ether