Vow Humor Gifts

'He does.'

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"...until death do you a favor."

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

Senseless clowning around

"You folks ready to order?"

He dies at the end. There, I've spoiled every story ever written. Whether it's a person, a quest, ennui, a dream, a struggle, hope, despair, innocence, cynicism, a romance, a friendship, or an estrangement

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

'Hey Dave, check out the kinky underwear this chick is taking on her trip!'

"Daddy says he got the promotion: We'll be able to afford to move to greener pastures!"

"Medical insurance? Are you kidding? No one will cover me for nine lives!"

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

Under Canvas

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'Dear Oscar, such a dry sense of humour.'

'To summarize: the visual joke brings on a very fast reaction, but the verbal joke is remembered longer.'

'What I wouldn't give for some good eczema medication!'

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

"The fax machine ate my homework."

'Our house is directly in the migratory path of Canada geese, so we keep the windows open until mid-November.'

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'