Vow Exchangers Pillows

"I now pronounce you man and wife - do you wish to save these changes?"

Lady of the Cake.

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

Sculptor making a statue to hug.

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"You said it—everybody heard you."

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

'Are you kidding? Of course I take this woman - wouldn't you???'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

"Woah! Where's it say that?"

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

"I now pronounce you bikers, man and wife."

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

'I do, but no promises.'

'Do you, Isabel, promise to give it your best shot?'

December 26th . . . The Returns

'Yes, your wedding vows are still binding even if you DID get married during the Clinton administration.'

"As long as we're renewing our vows, I'd like to trade him in for a newer model."

'I don't think you'll be breaking your vow of silence if you say 'Ahh' for me just this once, brother Benedict.'

"Do you, Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure Josh takes his cholesterol lowering medication each day?"

"No wine or song! That doesn't leave much does it?"

"Things were great until we decided to renew our rows."

'No, that's not it. My one didn't have writing on it.'

'I've reached that awkward stage in my life...between 'Do you take this man' and 'Till death do you part.''

"'Present' is not an appropriate response."

The second time around they cut you a little more slack.

DEFINE "for poorer".

'You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours!'