Vow Exchangers Gifts

"I now pronounce you man and wife - do you wish to save these changes?"

Lady of the Cake.

Sculptor making a statue to hug.

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"You said it—everybody heard you."

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

'Are you kidding? Of course I take this woman - wouldn't you???'

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"Woah! Where's it say that?"

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"I now pronounce you bikers, man and wife."

'I do, but no promises.'

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

December 26th . . . The Returns

"As long as we're renewing our vows, I'd like to trade him in for a newer model."

'Do you, Isabel, promise to give it your best shot?'

'Yes, your wedding vows are still binding even if you DID get married during the Clinton administration.'

"Do you, Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure Josh takes his cholesterol lowering medication each day?"

"No wine or song! That doesn't leave much does it?"

'I've reached that awkward stage in my life...between 'Do you take this man' and 'Till death do you part.''

'No, that's not it. My one didn't have writing on it.'

"Things were great until we decided to renew our rows."

"'Present' is not an appropriate response."

The second time around they cut you a little more slack.

'You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours!'

"Good day, madam, according to the terms and conditions of your marriage vows, you are now eligible for a full-husband upgrade."

DEFINE "for poorer".