Gift Exchanger Pillows

December 26th . . . The Returns

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

Lady of the Cake.

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Labrador Non-retriever

"I now pronounce you man and wife - do you wish to save these changes?"

'The whole office is slack-jawed and drooling! It's either a zombie invasion or that smooth jazz you play on the intercom.'

The Tobin Tax.

December 24th and the December 26th.

"I'm afraid I can't do anything unless you have a receipt."

"You ain't gitting on this train until I git off first."

The key to eliminating work-related clutter and stress: Proper Paperwork Triage!

The final secret-santa gift exchange between the Greeks and the Trojans.

Santa Claus

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts

"Got a book and a dumb tie from Teresa. What'd you get?"

"I think the tags got switched on our presents."

'You know I gave up sex and booze. . .it was the toughest ten minutes of my like.'

Mail Yourself a Card.

You know you can't return it. Mother had a GPS microchip sewn into the lining.

'I want to exchange these toys from last year that I never asked for!'

Artists Christmas Party

"You know what they say, Ladies. Big cheese sandwich, big p***s."

"And your reason for returning the sweater?"

"You've had enough!"

'You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours!'

Man returning Christmas tree after Christmas is over.

'Could you please gift wrap my exchange gift?'

Christmas gift exchange - bah humbug

'Hello. I'm Willy. Tommy and I have exchanged homes.'

'She'll never know I bought it on Ebay.' 'This is the crap he got me last year that I sold on Ebay.'

"I'm dying to know who will be my secret Santa this year."

Trump: Burger King

Multiple Amputee Twister

'You'll be making more money because we'll be paying you in pesos.'