Office Gift Exchange Pillows

The key to eliminating work-related clutter and stress: Proper Paperwork Triage!

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

The Pencil and Sharpener

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

Labrador Non-retriever

'The whole office is slack-jawed and drooling! It's either a zombie invasion or that smooth jazz you play on the intercom.'

'It was here when Harris decided to 'tweak' things a bit...'

"Oxygen masks. When a meeting gets so boring as to be life-threatening, they automatically drop down!"

"Anderson, we'd like to talk to you about your stand-offish attitude.'

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

"No, you didn't hear the soft rustle of a sandwich wrapper!"

'I'm pretty sure it's just plain old Tuesday. Bath towel Tuesday is next week.'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'I put my entire office into my cellphone.'

'You need to stop worrying so much about making a spelling mistake, Dear...you're becoming a typochondriac!'

'Your office door is nailed shut, that should tell you something!'

'Of course, in the long term we'll all be extinct.'

December 24th and the December 26th.

'May I play through please?'

These were Bob's colleagues, all right, but clearly they hadn't received Funny Fred's global email.

"I'm afraid I can't do anything unless you have a receipt."

'A two hour morning break, a three hour lunch break... I'm totally exhausted! Can I go home two hours early today, boss?'

"You ain't gitting on this train until I git off first."

Printers Jammed

"We need to think about raising your profile ..."

The final secret-santa gift exchange between the Greeks and the Trojans.

'They called it 'outsourcing'.'

"In accordance with the by-laws of this corporation, you get all the milk you want but only two cookies each."