Voice Command Connoisseur T-Shirts

"That's not a pepper grinder. That's Alexa."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Dialogue

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

The Gettysburg Address in process.

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

Men gossiping

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

Jerry Brown.

"I missed your last few words. Would you please mumble them again?"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'