Command Connoisseur T-Shirts

A shout of sergeants

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

'How can you make so many mistakes when there's only 2 option...LEFT or RIGHT?'

'Heel!!'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Men gossiping

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

S**t Threw a Goose

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

White Wine Wisdom (2)

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"Hold that afterthought!"

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."