Command Connoisseurs T-Shirts

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"You know damn well what noise!"

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

The End of the Worker Bees

"He's a mental-health critic."

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

"If I can control everyone around me it would help my damaged self esteem."

"I think the lines down!"

"Mrs. Porterhouse and her pianist have agreed to disagree."

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

"We have some architects in our colony."

"Yeah, I see the outgoing calls, but what about the introverted ones?"

"Are you talking to me?"

"You'd better not be thinking about using that remote during my show!"

"I'm getting earthy overtones of guilt, with just a hint of sexual frustration."

"Are you really sure we're supposed to give points for sound?"

'Of course you can't understand a word he says, he's the station tannoy announcer.'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

'Without my speech writer I'm worried I may say what I mean.'

'How can you make so many mistakes when there's only 2 option...LEFT or RIGHT?'

"The only calls not dropped are to your tech support."

The Sequels