Vodka Aficionado Gifts

"You're lucky this job became available, our firm has an unusually low staff turnover."

Join me in a Martini?

Overpaid Comrade

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'No ice.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

You're the botanicals in my gin

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Shaken not stirred

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Trump Poutine

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"Scotch and water musick."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Prawn Cocktail Please

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"