Vodka Aficionado Pillows

"You're lucky this job became available, our firm has an unusually low staff turnover."

Join me in a Martini?

Overpaid Comrade

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'No ice.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

You're the botanicals in my gin

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Shaken not stirred

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Trump Poutine

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Scotch and water musick."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

'The King of what?'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'