Vocal Performance Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Mikado

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Suddenly, Becky noticed something which gave her pause.

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Tenors

A man and a woman discussing the skill of the pianist.

"This is it, everybody. Jack and Harriet Schroeder sing Harold Arlem."

Pirate King

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

A singer being criticised

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

"Yikes. I'm on in five minutes and still haven't figured out my character's motivation."

Can Can

'Son I want you to Follow in My Footsteps.'

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

Loud Chorister

Barbara Streisand

Recording Studio

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

"Music has doubled my income..."

Heavenly voices.

'Uh-oh, here comes the mike again. Cut the barbershop quartet and go back to mournful whistling.'

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

"That is today's special, sir, Spanish lobster flamenco."

"Must be the life to work in a castle. You get paid by a rich king and you don’t have to go through every shift smelling elephant butt."

Pianist takes his bow whilst the singer carries on singing.

"No, see...it's more like this...now that's funny!"

"Ma, I just wanted you to know that the kid whose mouth you washed out with soap dozens of times was today referred to by the New York Times as a 'profanely eloquent' playwright!"

Ventriloquist Speech Therapy.

Intramission