Visual Impairment Humorist Pillows

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

Large print e-book.

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The barber

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

"All our flow charts are backing up!"

Ancient Egyptian eye tests.

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

All I know is, your Rogaine's all chewed up, and the cat's been coughing like crazy.

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"I think an IQ test would be more appropriate at this time."

Bolting your Food.

The seeing-eye cat.

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

'So much for his new glasses...he didn't see that coming'

'You really do need new glasses!'

Smartphone reads eye chart