Visual Impairment Humorist Gifts

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

Large print e-book.

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The barber

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

"All our flow charts are backing up!"

Ancient Egyptian eye tests.

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

Bolting your Food.

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

The seeing-eye cat.

"I think an IQ test would be more appropriate at this time."

'So much for his new glasses...he didn't see that coming'

'You really do need new glasses!'

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

Smartphone reads eye chart