Vision Humorist Pillows

"Your eyes are fine. I'ts just that on some eye charts they type is too small." The nearly blind leading the nearly blind.

Is it dark in here, or are my eyes going bad? I have the name of a great optometrist.

'If the subject should ever come up, you can say you're legally blind.'

'Look at the ref He's wearing glasses over his contacts,'

Eye test through a keyhole.

"Now can you see the chart??"

'I'm not so much concerned about seeing floaters in my eyes as I am about the fact that I'm seeing inflatable duck floaties.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Large print e-book.

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

"All our flow charts are backing up!"

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

Ancient Egyptian eye tests.

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"I think an IQ test would be more appropriate at this time."

Bolting your Food.

'My eyesight was getting worse, but thanks to my new glasses, I can play 'Monkey see, Monkey do' again...'

"Well, Mr. Swanson, I don't know that I can help you improve your standing in your focus group, but I can definitely check out your visual focus."

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

'your hindsight is only 20400 so I'm going to fit you with a pair of 'retro specs'.'

'So much for his new glasses...he didn't see that coming'

'You really do need new glasses!'

Peripheral vision cow