Vision Comedy Buff Pillows

'If the subject should ever come up, you can say you're legally blind'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Backfire

Cat Nip.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

"Bloody hell!"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'He does lack social skills.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The Golfing Accident

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

"Is there a vegan option?"

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"Beware of the frog"

"And would you like flies with that?"

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

Cat Hecklers

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

'When I said you could name your salary, I meant you could give it a name.'