Comedy Buffs Pillows

"I've followed this guy on social media for years, so I figure I can't go wrong following him in real life..."

Morris Men Behaving Badly

"You people make me sick. Nonetheless, here's a little toe-tapper."

"I got it this far - don't stop me now."

"Do you think we're using the right key word?"

'That isn't true Mrs. Jones, I can find my ass with both hands. And if you want me to prove it, it'll be $150.00 a day, plus expenses.'

Cow going to Moood Beach.

'55 minutes? Really? And you call yourself the fastest land mammal?'

'Ouch! Boy, just try finding a needle in a haystack when you want to!'

Showering angel has water bouncing off her halo.

Two men having an argument.

Watch Your Step

'Oh, sure...You think I've 'got the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow', well, the world's mighty heavy and that rainbow is MURDER on my hemorrhoids!'

A planet like ours - As usual they forgot where they put the icepops.

Don Knotts (Barney Fife) arrives in heaven.

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

"You fool!...You've given him the abnormal brain of a criminal!"

Beach warning: elephants!

The Liar Bird

A Typical Australian Wedding.

"The pilot chucked us off coz we're rat-arsed."

'Over on stage number two is the lovely, succulent, Misty Flatulence!'

'I won't be checking messages on my home phone for a while, but if you need me you can reach me at my cell.'

Danger! Landmimes!

'Sure, I'll be glad to have a look at your toilet, Dr. Wimble -- Just bring it in two weeks from Thursday at 3:15.'

Man with an axe approaches a palm tree on a desert island.

'Could you please hurry, Teller, I need to make a deposit, and quickly.'

You'd better go on a diet Bill: You don't look like a stick anymore...

"He wants some to put in his school report."

'Remember son...when life throws you a lemon, make lemonade.'

China Shop: 'No bulls allowed.'

"I'm having an en-suite put in."

"I bless you."

"If smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures salmon. . .?"

Rooming house without boarders