Satirical Humor Buffs Pillows

'Due to budget cuts, goodbye.'

"Oh. . . and this one, Jerimiah 19.9 'And I will make them eat the flesh or their sons and daughters'."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Life is for the birds.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Cord cutter

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Trump Poutine

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Trappist Monk Discord

'What does it say, Dad?'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"She's a miniature."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

HELLth Food Sprouts

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

Standard & Poor

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

'More government surveillance!'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"It's trickle down."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'