Satirical Comedy Enthusiasts Pillows

'No love, the public haven't voted you out. You haven't paid your rent.'

"We find the defendent guilty of gaslighting, lovebombing, and first degree breadcrumbing."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Life is for the birds.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Skiing.

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Dog Walking Services

Intelligent people laugh too!

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."