Ironic Comedy Enthusiasts Pillows

"How ironic."

"Pass me one of them, love."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Dog Walking Services

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Skiing.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Intelligent people laugh too!

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."