Satire Buffs Pillows

"Dammit! I swallowed another one!"

"On the bright side, since the collapse of the modern world due to climate change, we've had no trouble attaining zero carbon emissions."

Organized crime: two mobsters looking at a planning chart.

"Top Notch Plumbers Inc."

"Let's touch base again at three."

Smoking/Non Smoking Islands.

What kind of boomerang doesn't come back?

"More versatile than you think - the building is made of tofu."

Jack and the Beanstalk updated.

Fast Food

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Director/Action Man toy.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Life is for the birds.

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Cat Nip.

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

reincarnated worm...

The height of fashion in 1796

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

What's normal?