Satire Aficionados Pillows

"It's true. You were actually born a beautiful princess, but you were given to us to be brought up... and there's not a damned thing you can do about it!"

"What I wouldn't give to be a fly on a different wall."

'When I was hired, the boss asked if I could handle a job with lots of accountability, and like an idiot, I said 'Yes!''

'Oh, so you want to get nasty? Well, two can play that game! Remember when I told you to have a nice day? I RETRACT IT! Oh, yes I can! I just DID!'

'I begun like you, with nothing but my bare hands. Look at me now! Only 25 years later, I'm begging with my own hat! Geez, I love this country! Everybody can make it here!'

'You're both so qualified, so I've decided, this only fair way to choose a new secretary - whoever can grab this banana first!'

'This is a big day. Little Jimmy received his first credit card offer this morning.'

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

Ebeneezer Scrooge says to clerk: 'You can't have more coal for the fire, Mr Cratchit ??" this firm is committed to reducing its carbon emissions.'

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

Goldfish jumping out of a fish bowl declaring 'We are free' and then dying on the floor

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"Mum, Dad, good news! My IQ test proved negative"

'We've been offered NATO membership.'

Humility Monthly magazine: Featuring Our Person of the Year, Bud Blevins!

'Welcome to the Business Ethics course. Today we're going to start with the basics.'

"When I said you could tell me anything, I didn't mean that you think I'm losing my hair!"

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"Before counsel make their final summations, we're going to take some calls from across the country."

"Look mister, I have nothing against you being blind. And I'm sure you do have super-human-like sense of smell. However, I'm not going to issue you a driver's license."

'Beware of acid rain,ozone depletion, middle aged spread,the greenhouse effect,oysters out of season,toxic landfills,air pollution,blue mondays...'

Man reading book on body language hisses at a woman.

Conservative Victory, 1874.

'Just out of curiosity, do you have a best case scenario?'

"I knew it, neighbours from hell"

Two men with identical sandwich boards which read "coincidences never happen".

A man is sat between thugs on the subway.

Keep the country clean.

'Baa Baa Black Sheep falls victim to the stop and search laws.'

Uncle Sam Fights Multiplying Terrorist Rats.

Church of St. Mary the Contrary.

Door Bell Co. Please Knock.

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us to social distance effectively."

'You're just fine. The prescription is for me!'

Anal retentive bums.