Satire Aficionados T-Shirts

"It's true. You were actually born a beautiful princess, but you were given to us to be brought up... and there's not a damned thing you can do about it!"

"What I wouldn't give to be a fly on a different wall."

'When I was hired, the boss asked if I could handle a job with lots of accountability, and like an idiot, I said 'Yes!''

'Oh, so you want to get nasty? Well, two can play that game! Remember when I told you to have a nice day? I RETRACT IT! Oh, yes I can! I just DID!'

'I begun like you, with nothing but my bare hands. Look at me now! Only 25 years later, I'm begging with my own hat! Geez, I love this country! Everybody can make it here!'

'You're both so qualified, so I've decided, this only fair way to choose a new secretary - whoever can grab this banana first!'

'This is a big day. Little Jimmy received his first credit card offer this morning.'

'I've raised millions for charity. I've just never given them any of it.'

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

Ebeneezer Scrooge says to clerk: 'You can't have more coal for the fire, Mr Cratchit ??" this firm is committed to reducing its carbon emissions.'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Goldfish jumping out of a fish bowl declaring 'We are free' and then dying on the floor

"Mum, Dad, good news! My IQ test proved negative"

Humility Monthly magazine: Featuring Our Person of the Year, Bud Blevins!

'We've been offered NATO membership.'

'Welcome to the Business Ethics course. Today we're going to start with the basics.'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"When I said you could tell me anything, I didn't mean that you think I'm losing my hair!"

"Before counsel make their final summations, we're going to take some calls from across the country."

"Look mister, I have nothing against you being blind. And I'm sure you do have super-human-like sense of smell. However, I'm not going to issue you a driver's license."

'Beware of acid rain,ozone depletion, middle aged spread,the greenhouse effect,oysters out of season,toxic landfills,air pollution,blue mondays...'

'Man, I hate these exit polls.'

"I knew it, neighbours from hell"

'When you said you were wearing designer jeans, I didn't know they were designed by Goodyear.'

Two men with identical sandwich boards which read "coincidences never happen".

'Just out of curiosity, do you have a best case scenario?'

Conservative Victory, 1874.

Man reading book on body language hisses at a woman.

Revenge Of The Tipped Cows

'You're just fine. The prescription is for me!'

'I'm afraid it's the big C...Cosmetic surgery.'

'Here, try this.'

Door Bell Co. Please Knock.

'Here at Crowe Maritime Products, we like to let employees choose a health care plan that suits their needs. Now, step right up and spin the wheel.'