Visiting Art Galleries Gifts

Induction day at the modern art gallery was proving to be heavy going for Sam. . .

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

'That's what I call a selfportrait!'

'I may not know art, but I know what I like!'

'My work is about having a big tin f grey paint in the shed.'

'I really admire his work.'

Art Intimidates Art.

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

Abstract Expressionism: You'll hate at least one.

"For a critic, it's not easy to see a roomful of stuff like this, and pretend you think it's wonderful art."

"Okay, so it's no Michelangelo...."

"It's very minimalistic isn't it?"

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"It's worth $50 million, you philistine - of course you're not supposed to understand it!!!"

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

Rodin's Browser

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

Art Gallery.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Woodworms at a sculpture gallery.

Art of Surviving

Private Viewing

"That must be the artist over there."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

Morning and Afternoon Paintings

"Outré or simply bad?"