Vintage Horror Aficionado Gifts

He added a USB port.

"No, I'm Frank Bernstein. The guy you want lives in the old castle down the street"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

Dead Funny

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Chiller Theatre

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Solar Frankenstein

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

The bridge of arts.

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

"How was prom?"

"Stop complaining. At least I have parents!"

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

'Frankendumpty'

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

"May I ask what it's in connection with?"

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

Back to school: The Horror,

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."