Vintage Horror Aficionado Gifts

"No, I'm Frank Bernstein. The guy you want lives in the old castle down the street"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Dead Funny

Chiller Theatre

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Solar Frankenstein

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"Stop complaining. At least I have parents!"

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

The bridge of arts.

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"How was prom?"

'Frankendumpty'

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

Back to school: The Horror,

"May I ask what it's in connection with?"

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."