Classic Horror Aficionado Gifts

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Vampire Humor

'Ethel always insisted on seeing I.D. before opening the door to strangers'

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

'Ah... I see the misunderstanding. What you're looking for is a blood bank!'

Vampire Desert Island

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Dead Funny

Chiller Theatre

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Solar Frankenstein

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

Giant slug attacks a city

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Harry?... Is that you?"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"How was prom?"

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

'Igor, quit bugging me!'

"Stop complaining. At least I have parents!"

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

'Frankendumpty'