Old School Horror Aficionado Gifts

"May I ask what it's in connection with?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

Giant slug attacks a city

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

"Stop complaining. At least I have parents!"

'Igor, quit bugging me!'

'Frankendumpty'

Bram Stoker

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

'Yes, I'm fiercely opposed to stem cell research.'

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Friday The 13th, The Final Chapter.

Robert Mitchum

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

" ...so I said, 'what the heck', and installed an MP3 player too."

"Lost My Grant - Please Help!"

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

Honey, you've got a lot of explaining to do!

The monster was surprised to receive a medical bill from Dr. Frankenstein.

Frankenstein discovers that his bide may have been unfaithful.

"I work all winter on my beach body, and everyone still stares at you!"

Igor's zombie predecessor had a short-lived career assisting Dr. Frankenstein.

Frankie and Johnny were lovers...