Classic Horror Enthusiast Gifts

The monster was surprised to receive a medical bill from Dr. Frankenstein.

"Stop complaining. At least I have parents!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"There's an angry mob on line four."

'Doctor Frankenstein has been good to you.'

'Why don't you put your concerns in writing and give them to my lawyer.'

'Marge!' One victim calls out to another as they are carried off by Frankenstein and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

'He's going to be upset when he figures out I didn't give him a penis.'

'I'm afraid you're allergic to nuts!'

"Stop trying to change me!!"

". . . How many more times? 'Frankenstein' is the name of my creator. . . I don't have a name!! Have we got that straight??"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Dead Funny

Chiller Theatre

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Solar Frankenstein

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

Giant slug attacks a city

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Harry?... Is that you?"

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"How was prom?"

The bridge of arts.

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'