Vintage Financier Gifts

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

A child runs an equity stand.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

"Want to trade banks with me?"

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

'He's precocious.'

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

No caption. (Adult pushes buttons at an ATM. Child pushes buttons at an "APBM" - and Automatic Piggy Bank Machine.)

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

Girl holding money.

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

"Tooth fairy funds may seem consistent, and birthday money stable, but you really need to consider diversification of your portfolio."

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

'This isn't a diploma. It's a stimulus package!'

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'