Vine Whisperer T-Shirts

Gardener attacked by plants.

The Busy Gardener

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Gardener

Plant Lady

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

An Unexpected Guest.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

An old man growing berries

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Botany Baby!

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'Now it fits.'