Vine Whisperer T-Shirts

Gardener attacked by plants.

The Busy Gardener

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Gardener

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

An Unexpected Guest.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Botany Baby!

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

An old man growing berries

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.