Grapevine Whisperer T-Shirts

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Gardener attacked by plants.

Plant Lady

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Award Winning Gardener

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Botany Baby!

An old man growing berries

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'Now it fits.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Tree Passion

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!