Vine Whisperers T-Shirts

"I'll race you to the top."

The Busy Gardener

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Gardener attacked by plants.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

An old man growing berries

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Botany Baby!

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Couple cuddle under a sprinkler with an umbrella as an excuse to be close

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Now it fits.'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!

Tree Passion

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'