Tree Whisperer T-Shirts

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Hanukkah tree

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

Other things trees do in the forest when nobody's there to hear:

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"If a tree speaks and no one hears it, does it exist?"

"That tree looks very under-nourished. I'd be surrpised if it could yield one pound of apples."

'Give it to me straight, doctor - is it Dutch Elm Disease?

'Now it fits.'

"I told you before, Joe. . . you need to keep your work and personal life separate!"

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

Why the sudden interest in Autumn?

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

'Hi!'

Unfinished Furniture.

Lumberjack Interviews

'Not since that one tree got a restraining order.'

Bonsai Exhibit

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

Camp Games

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

You B*****D

"Let it go, Carl!"

"You can tell it's really old because at a certain age it just stopped counting."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

A lumberjack chops down a tree

One day in December...

"He may have just fallen, chief - no one claims to have heard a sound."

"I'm worried about burnout."

Out/In

Landscape artist

"Wow! That's a huge cell phone tower!"

'Shears...loppers...chainsaw...'