Tree Talker T-Shirts

"Quit complaining and decorate it! Number one, it's tradition, number two, it's nobody we know..."

"Ironically, he's being used to create 'save our forest' pamphlets."

Man talking to a tree.

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'Human beings get all the breaks -- just TRY to get Medicare to pay for a tree surgeon!'

"Just between you and me...when a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, it still makes a sound."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

'Now it fits.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

Bonsai Exhibit

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

Cow talking to cat up a tree.

Hanukkah tree

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

'Of course, they're healthy - they listen to me far better than my patients do.'

'My needles are falling! My bark is peeling! I must have Dutch Elm Disease!'

"I'm worried about burnout."

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

Go Back to New York

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

Wetlands Environmental Reserve - Sensitive Area - Please keep your comments to yourself.

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

Other things trees do in the forest when nobody's there to hear:

'Give it to me straight, doctor - is it Dutch Elm Disease?

Why the sudden interest in Autumn?