Plant Talker T-Shirts

'Of course, they're healthy - they listen to me far better than my patients do.'

The Busy Gardener

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"I'm losing my patience with you."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

An old man growing berries

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Botany Baby!

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!

Tree Passion

Man watering his plants in the rain.

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."