Nature Talker T-Shirts

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"On the other hand, we don't even have one word for 'swamp'."

'Don't you talk back to me like that!'

The Rabbit and the Frog

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

"Dunno...they all look the same to me..."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'Researching the opossum article.'

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

The World's best Camouflage Store.

'Tell us about the time you met Charles Darwin, grandad.'

'Illegal immigrants, if you ask me.'

'I know how worked up everyone is, but let's keep the bird calls to a minimum.'

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

'Of course, they're healthy - they listen to me far better than my patients do.'

'Got time for a little girl stalk?'

"The only time he lets 'em out is when he wants the lawn mooing."

"Did you get it at Bed, Birch and Beyond?"

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'

Wetlands Environmental Reserve - Sensitive Area - Please keep your comments to yourself.

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'I love your bangs.'

Man talking to a tree.

'Think about it: There were over three million of us co-owning this ant-hill, so we only got a few cents each...'