Tree Whisperer Gifts

Go Back to New York

Hanukkah tree

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

Other things trees do in the forest when nobody's there to hear:

"I'll bet those danged tree-huggers taught them how to do this!"

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"If a tree speaks and no one hears it, does it exist?"

"That tree looks very under-nourished. I'd be surrpised if it could yield one pound of apples."

'Give it to me straight, doctor - is it Dutch Elm Disease?

'Now it fits.'

"I told you before, Joe. . . you need to keep your work and personal life separate!"

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

Why the sudden interest in Autumn?

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

'Hi!'

Unfinished Furniture.

Lumberjack Interviews

'Not since that one tree got a restraining order.'

Bonsai Exhibit

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

Camp Games

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

You B*****D

"Let it go, Carl!"

"You can tell it's really old because at a certain age it just stopped counting."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

A lumberjack chops down a tree

One day in December...

"He may have just fallen, chief - no one claims to have heard a sound."

"I'm worried about burnout."

Out/In

What's the matter with him? He's lovesick.

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.