Grass Whisperers T-Shirts

A psychic mows the lawn.

Polly txt speak

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Sale! Weed Whackers

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

Award Winning Gardener

'Now it fits.'

Agricultural Psychology

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Planting veggies

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

Cow talking to cat up a tree.

Beware of the Lawn

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

Bonsai Exhibit

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

"Please....wait...the...meeting...host...will....let you...in....soon."

Pet Store. Bird Seed. "Bird Seed"? I thought they laid eggs.

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

'I think they're the best crop circles you've ever done!'

Hanukkah tree

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'