Vigilante Story Lover Pillows

"Try again, Kemosabe. This time ease out clutch slowly."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

Scarecrows guarding a field

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

You can relax now.

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Nun confronts mugger.

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

Guns won't help

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

"I do wish they'd hurry up with that vaccine, so I can get back to worrying about dying of something else."

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

A footballer is having an eye test.

'The opportunity to be fair and just is rewarding - but what I especially like is taking the law into my own hands.'

A knight fights the Covid-19 virus.

"Miss Jones, get up here and change this eye chart, please!"

'Yer luck's run out old timer - I've come fer what's mine!'

'Mom, the only thing I don't like about this job is the screen saver.'

Monster in optician.

The Marks of Zorro

Journalism

He takes snitching on car drivers to another level…

'You haven't been eating your carrots, have you?'

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

'Sir, what is the matter?' - 'New contact lenses.'

Zorro repairs his trousers.