Vigilante Hero Pillows

"Okay punk, make my day"

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

You can relax now.

"Office of quality assurance"

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

Guns won't help

Nun confronts mugger.

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

"I do wish they'd hurry up with that vaccine, so I can get back to worrying about dying of something else."

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

A footballer is having an eye test.

'The opportunity to be fair and just is rewarding - but what I especially like is taking the law into my own hands.'

A knight fights the Covid-19 virus.

'So are you going to like fight crime?'

"Miss Jones, get up here and change this eye chart, please!"

'Mom, the only thing I don't like about this job is the screen saver.'

'Yer luck's run out old timer - I've come fer what's mine!'

Monster in optician.

He takes snitching on car drivers to another level…

Journalism

The Marks of Zorro

'You haven't been eating your carrots, have you?'

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"