Video Game Underdog Pillows

"We suck at this."

The trauma of losing.

"Eat my dust!"

Work Slave

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'Great job at today's meeting, Dunwoody. You're finally discovering your own voice as a yes-man!'

The Leafs win the Cup!

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

Published but unread poet.

Stop the big guy!

"I can't promote you to that position ... you'd be perfect for the job."

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

"It says here researchers have found we're not as smart as some people believe."

March 8, 2030: the debut of 'Rocky 19.'

'My mother made me apply.'

Balloons vs. Rockets

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

Ballad of a Replacement Player

'Determined little guy.'