Underdog Champions Pillows

It's the same thing season after season. We just can't compete with the large-market teams.

Balloons vs. Rockets

The trauma of losing.

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

The Leafs win the Cup!

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

David and Goliath.

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

Published but unread poet.

Stop the big guy!

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

"It says here researchers have found we're not as smart as some people believe."

March 8, 2030: the debut of 'Rocky 19.'

'Determined little guy.'

Ballad of a Replacement Player

"Way to go, guys! When I gave you that pep talk before the game I didn't actually think you'd score a goal!"

Masochistic Soccer Fan

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'