Underdog Champions Gifts

Balloons vs. Rockets

The trauma of losing.

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

David and Goliath.

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

Stop the big guy!

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

Published but unread poet.

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

Masochistic Soccer Fan

'Determined little guy.'

"Way to go, guys! When I gave you that pep talk before the game I didn't actually think you'd score a goal!"