Champion Of The Underdog Pillows

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

Working class woman with a black eye in the witness box

Sardines

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

The trauma of losing.

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

David and Goliath.

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"Thank you, Sir."

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

Published but unread poet.

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

Stop the big guy!

'Determined little guy.'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

Masochistic Soccer Fan

Balloons vs. Rockets

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'