Defender Of The Underdog Pillows

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'Small and minority business' boat threatened by 'Capital' waste spilling into the sea

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

The trauma of losing.

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

David and Goliath.

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"Thank you, Sir."

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

'Determined little guy.'

Masochistic Soccer Fan

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

'Nah, I wasn't really afraid. See, even though he's pretty mighty as far as mice go, he's still, well, a mouse.'